Back in the 1980s seeing a hot newsreader was a bit like having your wife of 20 years pester you for sex – you’re not sure how it came about and you’re pretty sure it won’t happen again anytime soon. These days, unlike horny housewives, they’re everywhere, and right at the top of said scale is Mélissa Theuriau, a lady who could make the threat of World War 3 seem like a trifling inconvenience.
This French bombshell has been “reading out the news” as an anchor in France since 2003 – we didn’t put that in inverted commas to imply she’s bad at her job by the way, more to suggest that any man watching would only hear “blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah” while occasionally wiping dribble from his chin.
But don’t just take our word for it – in 2006 she was voted “World’s most beautiful news reporter” and “TV’s sexiest news anchor”. In 2007 she landed “most beautiful woman in the world” with the French version of FHM. We’re not going to argue. But we’re still going to complain that we had no warning when a nuclear bomb lands in our back yard.