“You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece!”
– Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, Full Metal Jacket
Love getting off-road? Like to round up illegal immigrants or liberate oppressed peoples (even if that’s just your wife and kids)? Maybe you just find a normal Jeep Wrangler a bit, well, meek. If so, then man up with Starwood Motors’ new Jeep custom, the Full Metal Jacket.
The brutal looks don’t mislead, as this monster packs a Pentastar 3.6-liter, 285 hp, V-6 engine that grunts from zero to 60mph in only 8.4 seconds. The vehicle’s special 4700PSI tensile-strength kevlar coating (including floor) lets it shrug off even the worst of dirt, sand, water or salt and protects against any potentially homicidal neighbours you’ve pissed off.
If you want to go further down the minimalist line, the doors and roof are easily removable. The list of other cool features goes on – a 10,000-pound winch, rock guards, under-seat lockbox and satellite radio are part of the package. The Rubicon Express long-arm suspension system is just as much at home on the highway as it is jumping sandhills
Starwood Motors promise that “80lb of sweat” has gone into each of these vehicles. No doubt the Procar leather and alcantara seats – an unexpected comfort – have been oiled with the tears of the weak.